I have stop doing things I usually do at home. As shooting around the house half crazy, playing and take care of my cats and kitty, try giving my turtle mostly anything to eat (it's fine. still alive) and just hang out at my room windows, trying to enjoy the moment and just have some moment drawing, traditionally. Miss those moment a lots! Yes.. I have stop doing all of this and just keep wasting time.
Well, this kind of thing happen. You want to know why? Because we have become comfortable. Too comfortable with what we have, what we do and how we take it. Easy thing make our life simpler, thinking too much make everything seem complicated and more time make us forget or simply wasted it away.
That is what happen. Especially when it was time of holiday and can't do anything else except wondering around looking for the right moment to move forward. Instead of just thinking of making one.
This could be calling comfort zone. (for me) Being able to stay home. Travel and have my own journey whenever I like and work when I feel like to. It was a huge different when chained by school and college time. Past through all of that responsibility, being busy and just thinking of finished it. It was totally different.
So here come the reason to get the hell out from that comfort zone.
“Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I’ll be mad.” ~ Rumi
To take two step forward, maybe changing might be a good solution.
Also, I want to start a new... new life. Without a sense of confined, bound and being holding back by anyone. Be free for once. Even thou it was for a moment. It was such a long time since I last feel free from everything and everyone. To be able to grasp and achieve the whole life that I was going to walk on. To be able to stand alone without help. (sound possible, but probably not)
Michael Franti once said, "The personal revolution is far difficult, and is the first step in any revolution."
This is me and my revolution of making way out from the comfort zone.
“And therefore, all of those for whom authentic transformation has deeply unseated their souls must, I believe, wrestle with the profound moral obligation to shout from the heart—perhaps quietly and gently, with tears of reluctance; perhaps with fierce fire and angry wisdom; perhaps with slow and careful analysis; perhaps by unshakable public example—but authenticity always and absolutely carries a a demand and duty: you must speak out, to the best of your ability, and shake the spiritual tree, and shine your headlights into the eyes of the complacent. You must let that radical realization rumble through your veins and rattle those around you.
Alas, if you fail to do so, you are betraying your own authenticity. You are hiding your true estate. You don’t want to upset others because you don’t want to upset your self. You are acting in bad faith, the taste of a bad infinity.
Because, you see, the alarming fact is that any realization of depth carries a terrible burden: those who are allowed to see are simultaneously saddled with the obligation to communicate that vision in no uncertain terms: that is the bargain. You were allowed to see the truth under the agreement that you would communicate it to others. And therefore, if you have seen, you simply must speak out. Speak out with compassion, or speak out with angry wisdom, or speak out with skillful means, but speak out you must.
And this is truly a terrible burden, a horrible burden, because in any case there is no room for timidity. The fact that you might be wrong is simply no excuse: You might be right in your communication, and you might be wrong, but that doesn't matter. What does matter, as Kierkegaard so rudely reminded us, is that only by investing and speaking your vision with passion, can the truth, one way or another, finally penetrate the reluctance of the world. If you are right, or if you are wrong, it is only your passion that will force either to be discovered. It is your duty to promote that discovery—either way—and therefore it is your duty to speak your truth with whatever passion and courage you can find in your heart. You must shout, in whatever way you can.” ~ Ken Wilber
[cite from link]