# Hell-bent

My life is in mess right now. Mess. Mess. Mess. Mess. Mess! Tried another way, another path last time that proven wrong and make my life nothing other than in chaos.

That's why I need to take the first step. Trying to change it since I'm their only hope. Their only child. And to do that I need to focus. Followed dad advice to keep focus on my goals. To be able to do that I need to be selfish, and by being selfish I had to cut off other relationship (serious one) since I cant afford commitment and tired of waiting. Excuse? No, this is what I really feels. Can't hold all this together anymore. I need a space for myself.

So if you want to wait, it up to your own decision, and if you want to leave it also on you. I can't do anything about it. But believe this, inside of my heart, my head you will be there. Albeit it will be hurt when you leave, I wont say it. It will be on me and I'll bear with it in time. It's not the first time and by time, I already get used to it.

"I'll be fine."

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